Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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