I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
