i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
it's like iHOP with fire
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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