You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
