well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
