She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
she peed on how many people?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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