Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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