I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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