i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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