He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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