he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
