3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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