life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize