he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
