those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
