How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
