shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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