just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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