It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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