I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Randomize
