I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
