Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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