omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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