Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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