I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
