Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
