So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
