you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
