Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize