oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
