is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
