So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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