I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
"it" just moved
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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