i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
