How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
