she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
