you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Sorry my hands just texted you
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize