I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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