she was so not down for the gang bang
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Someone shattered a urinal.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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