i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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