What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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