I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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