Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
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