Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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