How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
