I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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