How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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