i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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