weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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