I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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