can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize