I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize