I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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