Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize