I think I just saw someone hide a body.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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