dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
