jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I got her a Nickelback box set.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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