PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
