Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
