My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize