Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
