in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
