So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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