Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
