i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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