My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
You're completely useless in the revolution.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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