Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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