I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
